A new year

I used to not look forward to New Years, and all of the resolutions, planning, and excitement it brought. I thought my future was cloudy at best, without a lot of hope for an easier and more rewarding life. This notion started to change 15 years ago in Minneapolis. I remember telling myself in an alcohol induced reflection moment that the past was the past and I will only live in the future. Several days later I would meet the love of my life and would never look back again.

The uncertainty of things outside my relationship with Lorelei still existed, and slowly as our family grew and my career took off these uncertainties have dropped by to where I am today. I look forward to each and every day, week, month, and year. These new days bring new opportunities for love and growth.

Friday, January 1st, will bring with it a new list of resolutions:

1. Lose my remaining 30 pounds and get back to a healthy weight.
2. Find new employment that challenges me in a positive way.
3. Take our family on a vacation that is well deserved.
4. Take life on head first and use every presented opportunity to it's fullest.
5. Play with my kids more.

2009 had challenges that we overcame, but in 2010 we make our luck, and we kick ass!

peace
cd

Middle MicroManager

I have become what I despise, a middle manager. But it's worse! A micro middle manager. I have been managing the design and installation of our company's new website. I know next to nothing about web design or coding, but I have time and project management skills so it was assigned to me. I have been told to micromanage, in not so many words, the person doing the web site coding. Put a picture there, take a picture out here, change those words to red, leave these ones alone, etc.... It's maddening. You hired talented experts to do this job, let them do it.

merry christmas

cd

Plateaus

I've hit some plateaus, one induced, one I can't escape.

The first plateau, a self induced holding pattern at around 260 pounds. I lost 45 pounds as fast as I could this summer with a lot of biking, basketball, working outside, not eating everything in sight, and playing a lot with the kids. I got here in about three months. I've lost this 45 before, several times. There were always schemes involved, with some sort of false reward system in place. This time things would be different. I need to learn how to stay at a healthy weight (what I am now) before I start to lose some more (I could still lose 20 or 25 pounds). I've been here now for three months. Since the ground became white, my only exercise is friday basketball for around 75 minutes. This self induced plateau has been a good thing. I will never gain that weight back again. Ever.

The second plateau is at work. I work for a company with a hub and spoke management style. The hub makes all of the decisions, and the spokes are the rest of us. We have over 40 employees and they are ALL supervised by the President of the company. There is no vertical possibilities for anyone. The new year will start a new effort to find employment where plateauing isn't possible.

peace
cd

Awkward

How do you tell your boss that his writing stinks? I publish a bi-monthly newsletter that was my initiative. It was supposed to tell existing customers about new services and possibly attract new customers. Through my boss' efforts, it has moved to information dense material to a soapbox for fringe ideas, and it's making colleagues angry now. The writing is unprofessional, inflammatory, and goes against all of the paradigms of our industry.

I need a drink!

cd

Developments

Up late, watching "The Wackness", drinking beer, contemplating life.

Life is good, not what I expected, better than I expected, and getting better.

Getting nostaligic for times I never had.

The blog will be changing. At times it seems like Iam living a version of "The Office". I may be writing a bit of the shenanigans that go on at work. Managing the marketing at a biotech firm for a boss that doesn't understand how business works can be entertaining.

peace

cd

Change I Believed in

So I'm sitting here in Atlanta waiting for my exhibit to open. To kill the time I am watching a documentary on how Barrack Obama's campaing worked to get him elected. I remeber watching him during the race and getting really inspired. Inspired to see our country get better, inspired to see a President work hard for everyone, inspired to not have our country work unilaterally in the global political process. I voted for him because of how he made me feel.

A little more than one year from the day he elected I am concerned. The energy that surrounded him wherever he went is gone. The politics of divisiveness and selfishness are back.

I hope we as a country can find this energy again. We've navigated through the toughest economic setback in the last 70 years. In order to sustain this progress we must find the energy that sustained Barrack Obama's campaign. Energy that his agenda could not sustain.

I'm just sayin.

peace

cd

Update

It's been a while, but I've been busy. The weight loss continues, albeit at a slower pace. I now hover at around 260, and still am losing about a half pound per week. This makes me think I can sustain this when I am done. I just eat less than I used to, and I exercise more than I am used to. It may sound like a "duh" moment. I went old school and it works. I weigh myself every morning and every night, take a mental inventory of what I ate that day to make me heavier or lighter, and I try to adjust intake for the next day. I want to get under 250 by the end of the year and I should be able to get there without much effort.

I have been very busy lately. I was in Honolulu for business two weeks ago, I'm off to Atlanta next week, and maybe Albequerque in the spring. The job has been very busy but exciting. I am getting experience developing a marketing plan, creating marketing deliverables, working tradeshow booths, and I am about to start planning for a new building. Good stuff!

peace

cd

Long weekends

Got two hours in on the Monocog 29er today. Felt fast, nimble, and in control. I remember riding back in May thinking getting in shape was going to kill me. I sit here totally exhausted, sore beyond belief, and in a lot of pain. I haven't felt this good in ages.

Where's the ibuprofen?

peace
cd

Update

I finally made the under 270 mark, and I am still falling. I have now lost 36 pounds in a little over 2 months. I cannot sustain this, but I will continue to fall towards my initial goal of 240. In doing this I haven't felt this good in a long time, and I'd like to thank my electrophysiologists and the manufacturers of flecainide! Thank you very much.

peace

cd

Too much complaining

I have been complaining too much about work and how much crap I have to take there. I am trying hard to stop this annoying habit now. I remembered on my bike ride yesterday that I am descendant from Vikings. Vikings don't whine, bitch, cry, and complain. They just move on. I am moving on. I have a great job, I love the people I work with, and they are sending me to Hawaii in October to a trade show. My opinion change has nothing to do with the last item, but it doesn't hurt. I have a lot of autonomy here and I am going to use it to make this place and myself better.

here's to Valhalla!

cd

Dog days of work...

I have the hardest time concentrating at work lately, too many projects, not enough time, tour de france distractions, bike sitting in office, nice days, and stale career have made it difficult. The riding continues as I have five days out of the last six for at least an hour a day. Today I got home for a quick hour and was doing steep climbs on the redline that I wasn't able to do last week. I guess that's progress in one area of my life.

peace

cd

It continues...

My pledge to ride my bike everyday is already broken, but I needed a break as my bike/person interface is sore. I set myself up for success by getting my road bike to work to ride off stress up to three days per week at work. I enjoy riding at work when I don't have to spend 15 minutes putting on layers of clothes. This morning I was at 283 pounds and I hope to get down below 280 by Friday when I see the surgeon that did my ablation. The only chance for going off the wagon this time is because of my persistent arrhythmia that has come back after the ablation. Hopefully this is just a chance happening and everything is still healing.

peace

cd

It starts....part II

Last week I was over 300 at around #305. This moring I was at 284.6. I will ride every day this month and hopefully be down to around 270 by the end of July.

Happy Birthday America!

peace


cd

Trail Building in My Backyard

The past three years I have been riding in the field in the back over some paths that my father-in-law mows. Last night I grabbed a mower and started mowing paths for myself with some gnarly turns for mountain biking. There is no climbing, no rocks, and it's not very techie. It does however, give me a place to go anaerobic for short workouts and I don't have to take a phone with me. I will try to get it respectable by the end of the year with log piles, berms, and some actual single track sections. Right now it is about a half mile long and I don't think it could get much bigger. One half has lots of turning through pines and the other half is wide open with a half oval. I am going out tonight for the inaugural ride and look for other ways to build it up. I am a horrible technical rider and if I can build some skills slaloming and going over log piles maybe I could do some races again. I hope to have more work done this weekend and pictures up by next week.

peace

cd

Happy Father's Day!

Fathers day, a day set aside for everyone to appreciate dads. I got a card from Maddy today telling me she still loves me despite my broken finger. She loves that I make her excellent snacks and take her to get ice cream. It was the best card in the world.

Last year I wrote about my dad and how much I miss him. Today I am just gratefull to be a father to such beautiful kids and to share their lives with my beautiful wife. Maddy and Edison have so many of their mom's best qualities. They are sweet, kind, caring, funny, and they are all of this while still being high energy. They are truly a reflection of spending time with mom at home.

peace

cd

It can only get better

I haven't ridden a bike in over a month. Today I decided a man with five bikes has to ride at least one of them. I took the fisher with the new drive train and managed to ride the entire green circle today. It was painful, and I won't be able to walk tomorrow, but I have a baseline now and it can only get better.

I am in the same shape now as I was eight years ago when I started riding again, only eight years older and heavier. I have a follow up with my electrophysiologist in six weeks and I need to get in better shape.

The bones are healing and it doesn' hurt to sneeze anymore. The finger is still very sore and stiff, but I was told that could take years to get better.

peace

cd

Go time!

Monday I start my new fitness program. I've hired a coach with specific fitness and weight goals and an eating program too. I need to get healthy, and the structured program to get me there starts Monday. I am looking forward to it. By the end of the year I would like to be down to 225 lbs, a sustainable healthy weight for me. I am sure I could kick Hoenisch's ass in tennis at that weight.

peace

cd

I'm Done!

It feels good to be done with school. Last night I came home, played with the kids, grilled some chicken, had dinner, hung out with the family, and went to bed. Life as it should be lived. I would have gone out for a ride, but I wanted to stay with the family and I am still very sore from a harder than expected trip around the green circle on Sunday. Tonight I will go tool around in my backyard half mile track and burn the rest of the carbon out that has been accumulating in my lungs the last two years. Lost a few pounds so far, goal of 30 for the summer. It should be attainable without much dieting, just a lot of riding, lifting, and kayaking.

peace

cd

Two left

We finished our 26th session in school. Two more left and I will have my masters degree and my life back. I have put so much on hold that I won't crawl out of my hole for months. I should complete the rough draft of my main technology paper tomorrow and I hope to have the large business project completed by Easter. At that point I will have some mop up stuff done and I could get done early!

It was a great day today. We put up four new curtain rods and hung some new drapes, caught up with each other after being gone for a while, and made some plans for after school. When bubba went down for a nap Maddy and I went outside. She played, I cut down trees. Seven of them to be exact. I love my chainsaw.

Tomorrow I go to the library after changing the faucet in the bathroom.

peace
cd

Everything is on target

School is less than two months from being done! I can't wait to have that burden gone. The big technical project is coming along nicely and I hope to have the rough draft done by Sunday night. Forty six days and I will be done with all of my obligations and everything will be handed in. I am pushing for an early completion so wish me luck!

I went out riding today at lunch and didn't even have to put tights or pants on, just shorts and a long sleeve mtn bike jersey. It was awesome, slow, windy, tiring, and wonderful. I am in the worst shape ever but I am working on it. I have lost five pounds this week and hope to continue losing five pounds per week. I could use some tennis when down in Madison. Maybe the courts have the nets up and Andy would be up for a couple hours of tennis after class before I come home? Maybe he reads this blog and could respond? Maybe?

Work is going well, as long as I accept that my boss doesn't know what he is doing. He asks me to do stuff all of the time that just isn't right, so I nod like I am going to do the insane task and then blow it off.

GO BISON!!!!!!

cd

Procrastination

I was supposed to get started writing my last big school project on Sunday....that didn't work. I was supposed to start writing last night.....took my shock off the fisher and started rebuilding it. I am supposed to start writing tonight....NDSU is playing a basketball game on ESPN2 to get into the big dance for the first time.....that won't work. I am supposed to bring Maddy to CCD tomorrow night.....that won't work. I am finding lots of reasons to delay the start of my project. I can still get it done in a couple weeks and maybe that is the problem. If I was slower at writing I would be freaking out, but I can crank if I have to. I just keep telling myself that in one way or another this will all be done in seven weeks. Seven weeks until I don't have to go to school ever again. I will miss my friends, but I will not miss the burden of school.

peace

cd

Gary Benson

I am back from the funeral on Friday. The funeral was touching and reminded me greatly of my dad's. There were a lot of the same people there, a sports theme, and the stories of a very good man that touched many lives in a positive way. Gary was a central figure in the athletic development of many of my childhood friends and myself. His personality was always bigger than the room he walked into, and in a good way. He was always supportive and he was never at a loss to offer constructive criticism. I saw him many times when I was between colleges and he ALWAYS asked me what my plans were, as if to say why aren't you in school. I appreciated those conversations greatly. He left behind a wonderful wife, two great sons, a beautiful daugher-in-law, and two beautiful grandchildren. When the good ones go too early, it always hurts more and this one hurt a lot.

Peace be with you Bensons and Gary.

chuck

Taking a chance....

So today I decided to let a potential business partner know that I would be interested in starting something with him. A scary notion filled with huge risks, but if you want something different in life you have to act differently. It's time.....

Funny story here. I was carrying Edison back to bed on Saturday night and he said,"You're a big fat man" I laid him down in his bed and told him firmly that wasn't very nice and he shouldn't talk like that to anyone. He gave me his pouty lip and teared up a bit. I hugged him and told him I love him and went back to bed. Five minutes later he came back into our room and told me,"You really upset me" I just love how a three year old mind works.

School is progressing nicely and I am waiting for the critique on my proposed outline. I want to start writing but not until it is OKd. It looks like I am going back to Fargo this week for a funeral of a father of an old high school friend. We are at the age now when parents start dying. A scary proposition indeed.

Rest in peace Gary.

cd

Unchained

One more session in the books and just four more to go. This session wasn't the best but it was good to see my friends and I did learn some stuff. I went to an alumni sponsored resume workshop today and learned a lot. I also learned that these human resources professionals sounded positive with how I am moving through the interview process.

The Hoenischs took me out to breakfast today to the most incredible place. I may just drive down there tomorrow morning for breakfast. Great food, great portions, and great company.

I have been thinking more about my final project and I am very happy with how things are going. Synthetic operons and metabolic engineering of E.coli to produce isoprene and methyl butenol. Sounds great.....now I just have to write it.

Peace

cd

Disposable Heroes

Last night on the way home I was rocking some Master of Puppets and Disposable Heroes was on. That music is so gutteral and visceral it just sticks with you and evokes the same feelings you felt when you were a confused 16 year old kid. It was awesome.

Work still sucks, no new job yet, and school again tonight. After tonight I will basically be half done with the last semester. My thesis is going ahead of schedule and I should be able to start working on the business strategy in a few weeks. I can't wait to be done.

Starting Sunday I begin strict training for Chequamegon. I need to lose about 50 pounds, increase my strength in the weight room significantly, and put on about 5000 miles this summer. It sounds ambitious, but if I have to stay in this job I might as well have some fun (new job would significantly dimish riding time).

Peace!

cd

Progress

I have been feeling really stressed about my big project until last night. I have been working on randomly printing out resources as I come across them but I haven't been putting them in order. Last night after the family was asleep I took all 30 papers out of the binder and arranged them in order so I could tell my story. Amazingly I don't think there are many holes to be filled. I took the information and I added it to my outline due this week and I should be set to start writing as soon as I get the next PM busy time assignment done. My project management class is the one class that I am sure I will not learn anything.

When I get home on Saturday the kids will be gone and Lorelei is going out with a girlfriend. Time to play with bikes! I sent off my registration for Chequamegon to a buddy so he can add his registration to the envelope. I would love to get in this year as I always do better with training when I have a tangible goal or reason to train.


peace
cd

Fake Plastic Trees

Back at work today. I realized on the way here that I have been working while at work a lot more lately. I don't know what has gotten into me but I have become hard working, involved, motivated, and productive. If things don't change soon I may become the "model employee" I once was.

I applied for another job today as a Production Manager for a local neutracuetical firm. It would be nice to able to take a five minute bike ride to get to work. The facility is literally one mile from my house. I have been commuting to Marshfield for over 12 years. I have traveled over 250,000 miles back and forth to Marshfield. I woudln't know what to do with myself.

Things are also progressing with the Field Applications job but it will take a while to move my application through. I just found out today I officially did not get a job with Invitrogen.....I applied for that job over nine months ago. Sheesh.

peace
cd

End of the Weekend

I got one more assignment done today and I learned more about rotavirus vaccine development in developing countries than I ever wanted to. I am almost ready for the next session (3). Four more after that and then I am done. The next six weeks will be spent writing the big projects. I will get started next Sunday and hope to have them done a bit early.

The weekend went too fast as they always seem to do. Maybe someday we will win the lottery and every day could be a Saturday.

nice dream

cd

It's been a while...

I haven't posted for quite some time. I have been drinking Ketel One gimlets while taking pseudophed for a cold today. Needless to say I may be making typos tonight. I am in my last semester of my MS program, and the end can't come soon enough. I am in the process of moving through the interview process with Roche for a field applications specialist. That job is the position I have been dreaming about for the last ten years. It has gone very well so far, but they probably get hundreds of applications for jobs like that. I am trying to leverage my experience, education, and insider connections to get the job. I have worked it out in my head that if it doesn't work out and I have to stay in my present job I will be OK with that....as long as a better job comes along sooner or later.

I have been trying to work out on a more regular basis and until the cold hit I was. I have a full 310 pound weight set in the basement now and I intend to use all 310 pounds to get back into shape. I actually rode outside last week in 30mph winds and it was great. I am in terrible form but I can only go up. I can't wait for the snow to melt!

I talked to a dear friend today that I haven't connected with for quite some time. It was great to hear from her and Lo and I are planning a trip to see her this summer.

I have two and a half months left this semester. I have been spending about 5 hours per two weeks with homework.....that changes tomorrow. I have about six weeks to get the rough draft of my thesis done and get started on the strategic analysis. I should be able to get it done on time, but I have about 50 pages to get through to complete it.

Anyway things are good and about to be unbelievably greater!

peace
cd