I'm Back

I'm back, things have changed, life is better, and I'm training again.

Day one, a one hour blast around the south end of the green circle on tired legs from 90 minutes of basketball yesterday. I won't do that again.

Tomorrow I hope to get out to Standing Rocks for the first time in quite some time.

This journey found me losing 45 pounds last year, I hope to do the same this year.

peace

cd

I heard an old Jewish saying once that went something like "I woke up this morning, everything else is gravy". I love that saying. Some people that I've told it to think it's dire, or lowest common denominator. I think it's a way of saying, "Thank you God for this day. I won't waste it, I'll work hard, I'll get better at one thing today." I think everyone would feel better about their place in life if they thought like that.

I'm just sayin'.

peace

cd

Pins and Needles

Waiting for the rest of your career to happen when you know where you want it to go takes forever!

Lemons

Life threw us some lemons this week, and this will be the last time I speak of them. I guess the main reason I was heartbroken is the loss of potential. Somehow in the last 15 years I have become an optimist again. I know why that's changed, but I'm keeping that to myself. My life is already more rich than I could ever imagine, and an addition to our family would have been accompanied by overwhelming love. Somehow in the last three days that additional love has still found it's way into our family, and for that I am forever grateful.

Life threw us lemons this week, and we made some awesome libations with it!

peace

cd

It's not our time, this time

We had a setback last night. #3 wasn't meant to be. Rather than being heartbroken about it, we are taking it in stride, hugging our kids more, hugging each other more, and thanking God that we already have an incredible family.

peace

cd

41

It's my birthday tomorrow, and all I can think of is 1987. Is there something in our biology that makes us look backwards instead of forwards as we grow older? My life is fulfilled with the most wonderful family possible, a great career, and my relatively good health. That being said, all I can think of is my senior year in high school. What fun that was!

Rather than being full of sentimental BS about my life, I'll wax poetic about something else. Why can't Tim Gunn be my friend? He seems like such a nice man. Lorelei's friend Crescent had the funniest dream about him. She dreamt that they would grow old together and he would hold her hand and it would be resplendent. Funny stuff.

Life's too short to think about deep stuff. Live in the moment, enjoy what you have, and when you have the opportunity, drive with your windows rolled down while listening to outlaw country music.

Happy Birthday Me!

peace

ce

A new year

I used to not look forward to New Years, and all of the resolutions, planning, and excitement it brought. I thought my future was cloudy at best, without a lot of hope for an easier and more rewarding life. This notion started to change 15 years ago in Minneapolis. I remember telling myself in an alcohol induced reflection moment that the past was the past and I will only live in the future. Several days later I would meet the love of my life and would never look back again.

The uncertainty of things outside my relationship with Lorelei still existed, and slowly as our family grew and my career took off these uncertainties have dropped by to where I am today. I look forward to each and every day, week, month, and year. These new days bring new opportunities for love and growth.

Friday, January 1st, will bring with it a new list of resolutions:

1. Lose my remaining 30 pounds and get back to a healthy weight.
2. Find new employment that challenges me in a positive way.
3. Take our family on a vacation that is well deserved.
4. Take life on head first and use every presented opportunity to it's fullest.
5. Play with my kids more.

2009 had challenges that we overcame, but in 2010 we make our luck, and we kick ass!

peace
cd

Middle MicroManager

I have become what I despise, a middle manager. But it's worse! A micro middle manager. I have been managing the design and installation of our company's new website. I know next to nothing about web design or coding, but I have time and project management skills so it was assigned to me. I have been told to micromanage, in not so many words, the person doing the web site coding. Put a picture there, take a picture out here, change those words to red, leave these ones alone, etc.... It's maddening. You hired talented experts to do this job, let them do it.

merry christmas

cd

Plateaus

I've hit some plateaus, one induced, one I can't escape.

The first plateau, a self induced holding pattern at around 260 pounds. I lost 45 pounds as fast as I could this summer with a lot of biking, basketball, working outside, not eating everything in sight, and playing a lot with the kids. I got here in about three months. I've lost this 45 before, several times. There were always schemes involved, with some sort of false reward system in place. This time things would be different. I need to learn how to stay at a healthy weight (what I am now) before I start to lose some more (I could still lose 20 or 25 pounds). I've been here now for three months. Since the ground became white, my only exercise is friday basketball for around 75 minutes. This self induced plateau has been a good thing. I will never gain that weight back again. Ever.

The second plateau is at work. I work for a company with a hub and spoke management style. The hub makes all of the decisions, and the spokes are the rest of us. We have over 40 employees and they are ALL supervised by the President of the company. There is no vertical possibilities for anyone. The new year will start a new effort to find employment where plateauing isn't possible.

peace
cd

Awkward

How do you tell your boss that his writing stinks? I publish a bi-monthly newsletter that was my initiative. It was supposed to tell existing customers about new services and possibly attract new customers. Through my boss' efforts, it has moved to information dense material to a soapbox for fringe ideas, and it's making colleagues angry now. The writing is unprofessional, inflammatory, and goes against all of the paradigms of our industry.

I need a drink!

cd

Developments

Up late, watching "The Wackness", drinking beer, contemplating life.

Life is good, not what I expected, better than I expected, and getting better.

Getting nostaligic for times I never had.

The blog will be changing. At times it seems like Iam living a version of "The Office". I may be writing a bit of the shenanigans that go on at work. Managing the marketing at a biotech firm for a boss that doesn't understand how business works can be entertaining.

peace

cd

Change I Believed in

So I'm sitting here in Atlanta waiting for my exhibit to open. To kill the time I am watching a documentary on how Barrack Obama's campaing worked to get him elected. I remeber watching him during the race and getting really inspired. Inspired to see our country get better, inspired to see a President work hard for everyone, inspired to not have our country work unilaterally in the global political process. I voted for him because of how he made me feel.

A little more than one year from the day he elected I am concerned. The energy that surrounded him wherever he went is gone. The politics of divisiveness and selfishness are back.

I hope we as a country can find this energy again. We've navigated through the toughest economic setback in the last 70 years. In order to sustain this progress we must find the energy that sustained Barrack Obama's campaign. Energy that his agenda could not sustain.

I'm just sayin.

peace

cd

Update

It's been a while, but I've been busy. The weight loss continues, albeit at a slower pace. I now hover at around 260, and still am losing about a half pound per week. This makes me think I can sustain this when I am done. I just eat less than I used to, and I exercise more than I am used to. It may sound like a "duh" moment. I went old school and it works. I weigh myself every morning and every night, take a mental inventory of what I ate that day to make me heavier or lighter, and I try to adjust intake for the next day. I want to get under 250 by the end of the year and I should be able to get there without much effort.

I have been very busy lately. I was in Honolulu for business two weeks ago, I'm off to Atlanta next week, and maybe Albequerque in the spring. The job has been very busy but exciting. I am getting experience developing a marketing plan, creating marketing deliverables, working tradeshow booths, and I am about to start planning for a new building. Good stuff!

peace

cd

Long weekends

Got two hours in on the Monocog 29er today. Felt fast, nimble, and in control. I remember riding back in May thinking getting in shape was going to kill me. I sit here totally exhausted, sore beyond belief, and in a lot of pain. I haven't felt this good in ages.

Where's the ibuprofen?

peace
cd

Update

I finally made the under 270 mark, and I am still falling. I have now lost 36 pounds in a little over 2 months. I cannot sustain this, but I will continue to fall towards my initial goal of 240. In doing this I haven't felt this good in a long time, and I'd like to thank my electrophysiologists and the manufacturers of flecainide! Thank you very much.

peace

cd

Too much complaining

I have been complaining too much about work and how much crap I have to take there. I am trying hard to stop this annoying habit now. I remembered on my bike ride yesterday that I am descendant from Vikings. Vikings don't whine, bitch, cry, and complain. They just move on. I am moving on. I have a great job, I love the people I work with, and they are sending me to Hawaii in October to a trade show. My opinion change has nothing to do with the last item, but it doesn't hurt. I have a lot of autonomy here and I am going to use it to make this place and myself better.

here's to Valhalla!

cd

Dog days of work...

I have the hardest time concentrating at work lately, too many projects, not enough time, tour de france distractions, bike sitting in office, nice days, and stale career have made it difficult. The riding continues as I have five days out of the last six for at least an hour a day. Today I got home for a quick hour and was doing steep climbs on the redline that I wasn't able to do last week. I guess that's progress in one area of my life.

peace

cd

It continues...

My pledge to ride my bike everyday is already broken, but I needed a break as my bike/person interface is sore. I set myself up for success by getting my road bike to work to ride off stress up to three days per week at work. I enjoy riding at work when I don't have to spend 15 minutes putting on layers of clothes. This morning I was at 283 pounds and I hope to get down below 280 by Friday when I see the surgeon that did my ablation. The only chance for going off the wagon this time is because of my persistent arrhythmia that has come back after the ablation. Hopefully this is just a chance happening and everything is still healing.

peace

cd

It starts....part II

Last week I was over 300 at around #305. This moring I was at 284.6. I will ride every day this month and hopefully be down to around 270 by the end of July.

Happy Birthday America!

peace


cd

Trail Building in My Backyard

The past three years I have been riding in the field in the back over some paths that my father-in-law mows. Last night I grabbed a mower and started mowing paths for myself with some gnarly turns for mountain biking. There is no climbing, no rocks, and it's not very techie. It does however, give me a place to go anaerobic for short workouts and I don't have to take a phone with me. I will try to get it respectable by the end of the year with log piles, berms, and some actual single track sections. Right now it is about a half mile long and I don't think it could get much bigger. One half has lots of turning through pines and the other half is wide open with a half oval. I am going out tonight for the inaugural ride and look for other ways to build it up. I am a horrible technical rider and if I can build some skills slaloming and going over log piles maybe I could do some races again. I hope to have more work done this weekend and pictures up by next week.

peace

cd